Interesting... for some reason everyone decides they need to text me before noon on saturday. No. I'm not really that lazy, I just got out of work at like 3am last night, thanks for the wake up call. At first there were only like two of them, but once it was 5 different people I decided I didn't care and that I'd just wake up.

I believe life is good at the moment. I guess that doesn't say much considering I'm the kind of person that can't be knocked down. Don't get me wrong, I suffer, I feel pain, and I experience everything else other people do, but I get over it quickly and I always take life as an enjoyable experience. Today things are genuinely good.

My chick problems haven't been solved; but that's only because there is no such thing as a solution for you people. Yep. I'm sorry I had to be the one to tell you. What? I'm a liar? Go read your birth certificate! But seriously, it's ok. We talked it over and I guess we've reached a point where she is willing to at least date me. This is good. I didn't want to jump directly into a relationship because I she and I get along great as friends, but we have to make sure there is still a spark if the dynamic changes. And for all of the thinking I've been doing I felt off my rocker. She said one sentence that hit me like a brick to the face. She said, "don't think so much, whatever is meant to be will be." My brain stopped turning for a minute.

I've always been a pretty firm believer in this type of thinking, but I've never really applied it to relationships before. I usually look at relationships as try not to fuck it up for as long as possible before you get owned. Not really. I'm too positive a thinker for that. I look at them as an extremely difficult scenario that is often more work than gain. In this instance I am aware of how much I have to gain and I'm not afraid to roll the dice on it. And another thinker might apply the phrase and say my previous relationships weren't meant to be so it wasn't going to be good anyway. Well to you I say stop getting ahead of me, I'm getting there.

What else is good? I've started working out. I've had work out routines before so I should say I've started working out more seriously. I'm going about three times a week at 24hour fitness. It's really the best thing for me because I live my schedule at night and the only time I can go to other gyms is if I wake up on a different schedule just to go. Not going to happen. Now I go anwhere from 10pm until like 2 or 3am. I think for the first time in my life I have a commitment to myself to get into a much better shape. The only thing is that we always go lifting before cardio. I'm trying to lose weight here and I'm building more muscle mass. I'm going to have to walk my arms into a vet. Why? Because these puppies are SICK! I know, thank you. Lameness is a quality I work at.

I actually have a vehicle now too. We, and by we I mean my friend nick the designated driver, totalled my mom's car about 3 months ago or so. She bought herself a 2001 Nissan Pathfinder. It's pretty badass. In turn she decided to sell me her old truck. I can't be sure, but It's either a '90 or a '91 Ford F250 XLT Lariat. Extended cab, superbed. She's a beast. And for those of you who don't know, I named her Fiona. Like the ogre/princess from Shrek. Double enteandu? And yes, I do name everything. MY guitars are leslie and ayla, my trombone is traci, and my Trumpet is Ainsley... yep.

So right now life is good. I feel good, I feel happy, I've got my mind back in autopilot, which is where us men belong, and I'm optimistic about the future.

Hopelessly optimistic,

J

this is a short story I've been considering for a while. I'm going to see if I can make a cogniscent, compelling story even if I tell it differently. This one needs a lot of work. I'm trying to tell it with the character narrating his own story, I narrated parts of it differently for the sake of making a draft. apparently I only write sad stories.

SAVED

I walk out of the pub. Maybe I would have been better off staying in tonight. I'm not that drunk, but I should probably walk. I release a big drunken sigh. It's kind of cold-

"Yeah, (I) left jacket in the car!" With smug satisfaction over the small victory I open the door and retrieve it; a gift from somewhere down the line... I can't really remember right now. Oh, it's this one. It's kind of small. I guess I can't bitch if I'm cold.

I put the jacket on one arm at a time, but I have a little trouble with the second so I draw three or four circles inside the liner until it pops in. Tequila, I thought we were friends!

"heehee... I'm dumb." I walk. Some of my steps appear to be straighter than others, but as long as one foot follows the previous I'll make it there. Or maybe I won't and it's the same thing. I don't really have any self-affirming feelings to contradict my thought. Is there anything left? Faith? Hope? Love?

"Fuck". There is nothing. What do I have to show for it all. Failure! "I'm nothin' but'is fuggin' shhhit! ... what the fuck are you looking at?" The dog wimpers at me. Even he pities me too much to be a dog and bark at me. "Get'way!"

I run to chase it away. It runs and I run. I'm tired and I lean against a large bench. I empty my stomach violently for the next minute or so. As my vision and consciousness wain, I struggle to remain standing. I'm crying inwardly, and I become aware of a tear or two are on my cheaks. I wipe them and my mouth. This park is dangerous at night. I'm not afraid. Do I really have no will left?

The resounding thunder split my thought with absolute fear. Once to split everything that moment possesed in my mind. Twice and I am too struck to know I'm reacting. Until I'm there. She's hurt. She's shot. "Fuck me!"

I watch her place her hands over the bloodstained portion of her shirt with a grace and calm I've never seen. I move closer too help. "Are you ok!" I speak through terrified gasps.

"I-" she looks like she's thinking. "It is ok." her voice warmed me like my mother used when she explained things I didn't understand in ways that I could. She looked into my eyes and I could feel my pages being turned as she read me. I should run and get help. "Please, just stay here. It is going to be ok." she assured me.

How can it be ok? you're going to die here! "You're going to be fine." my voice sounded more like a question than it ever could have a sentence. I eased into a position to hold her upright and hold pressure to her wounds. Her complete aura of calmness eased me and I knew that she knew what was happening. She would die. She had no fear of death, but this lack of fear wasn't like me. It was a faith so strong that she knew in her heart it would be ok.

When the knowledge must have struck my face she mused, "I always dreamed I would die in the arms of my one true love, and that his love would make leaving this world less painful." I watched a tear fall now across a cheak, and down to the corner of her shaking lip. Her eyes closed. She can't leave like this. Please!

"I love you." I said with a strength I have never posessed before this moment. I love her? I do love her. It happened in that moment. All of the rules fell by the side and my heart opens truely to just love. I feel love in a way I didn't know exists. "I love you" I whispered as I watched my love losing blood in my arms.

She pulled me close and kissed the tear from my cheak and she smiled at me. Not the kind of smile you might see if she were humoring a child. Her smile is truely happiness. "Then you saved me." She passed.

I watch her face... I'm crying. I'm crying like the word was invented for people trying to immitate what I'm doing. Sobs pull me forward and backward. I hiccup, gasp, and my lungs burn. I'm cryinga tear for everything that has ever failed. It's much too quiet now. My head is clear.

I look up towards the night sky. I'm looking up towards heaven. "No, you saved me... You..."

Beer pong is the sport of kings. I don't care if that's accurate or not, because I'll believe it forever. The only problem with it is that everyone plays the game differently, and everytime you go to someone else's house you have to play by their rules... sucks.

I know that our group plays by a very different set of rules as far as rebuttle is concerned, but we need to have a certain standard of rules anyway. It's too difficult to memorize 20985320985 different sets of rules for the same game.

Here is the set of rules I like to play by because it's simple, fair for skill, and efficient.

If both players make the same cup they will get balls back. if both players make the same cup the opponents will drink three cups and the shooting team gets balls back. A lot of people hate this rule, but it takes skill to do this.

A bounce shot is worth two cups, but it may be blocked. Blocking a normal shot is a penalty of one cup. These rules stack with the first. For example, if you bounce it into the same cup the first player made it is four cups and balls back. If you somehow manage to bounce both into the same cup and the other team doesn't stop it from happening somehow it would be a five cup move. I've never seen this before, but damn.

If you make three shots in a row in consecutive turns or balls back shots you are considered on fire. You may now shoot until you miss.

Reracks are given after six cups remain. we usually do three per game. The first one can't be called until six cups. Since we give the option to use them at any cup value after six we end up with some classic racks such as "the cock and balls", or "stoplight". This rule I would say should be changed to more standard rules, but I like it.

Rebuttle. Here is where I'm certain we differ from everyone else who's ever played the game. We keep it directly number oriented to make it easier to determine. When all of your cups count as hit you get a rebuttle turn. If you had one cup remaining and one opponent hits it, you are now at zero cups. One member of your team must make it to put you back at one cup. Now let's get tricky. Let's say you have two cups remaining and the other team makes same cup. You are now at negative one cup. You and your partner must both make a cup to bring your total up to plus one. If succesful you drink one cup. If your team made same cup you would be at plus two so you can keep your cups. Your total may never exceed the cups you have remaining, this means if you get to a plus two and have only one cup remaining the other team must drink one.

This is your turn. the opponents now get their next turn and play continues as normal. The only difference is that you only get one rebuttle per game. If you hit zero cups again you lose. I know a lot of people don't agree with all of this, but in the event one game leans too quickly it balances it out letting the better team show more consistantly.

Damn. I just realized that I'm just as bad as every douche-nozzle that forced me to lose a game due to weird fucking rules.